Monday, November 20, 2006

My Monday ABCs: Ashton, don't Buy tupperware, and Call me CRAZY!

Understatement of the century: In an article attempting to explain the latest stupid move by O.J. Simpson, "Instead, the experts said, the book may amount to narcissism." May? Ya think? Puh-lease.

Dear Media people:

Don't buy the book. Don't interview O.J. on the air. Can we please just ignore the crazy and demented guy wearing the bloody too-small-gloves and stop the insanity enough already?



[This just in-- (The eternal optimist in me rejoiceth.) Apparently there is at least one strand of moral fiber and maybe even one iota of good taste left in America: The ill-conceived O.J. project has been canceled!]



Also to the dear media people: I DON'T GIVE A GNAT'S EYELASH ABOUT THE TOMKAT WEDDING OR THE NEVER-ENDING KISS (which is an ironic way to begin a just-can't-possibly-last marriage anyhow)!



*Mean Girl Alert* I think Ashton Kutcher is just stupid. I used to think Demi was an intelligent woman, but now that I've seen Ashton in an interview, I think she was just dumb enough to get distracted by substance-less eye candy. And at her age she should've known better. Thank you. I just needed to say that out loud.



Dear Sony PlayStation people:

Please explain to me the logic behind providing a HUGE shortage of whatever-your-latest-overpriced-addictive-to-the-male-species-entertainment-system-is so that only the few people who don't really want them anyway are able to purchase them, only to resell them for a HUGE and ridiculous profit on e-Bay. What-the-heck kinda business model is that, anyway? Wouldn't you make a little more money if you made more than four or five of them and then you actually scored the profit from the 50-gabazillion or so boys who want them instead of letting all the people crazy enough to wait in line outside in the middle of winter for three days make all the big bucks?

Oh, and speaking of playing the supply-and-demand game with entertainment systems. Isn't it wonderful how all the ads in the Sunday morning paper so beautifully featured Nintendo's more reasonably priced Wii on their front pages as if one could just meander out that very day (assuming one shopped on Sunday) and purchase one for one's children for Christmas. As if the ad makers had no idea that all 26 of them would've already been sold hours before the paper ever rolled off the presses?

(Do I sound bitter? I'm not really--this is something we swore we would never buy for our children--but still!)



I am tired of Tupperware. Now I'm sure this will bring down the wrath of the people paid to search the Internet for people dishing (ha ha) Tupperware, but really. I've now got a pile of "virtually unbreakable" Tupperware (supposedly using technology from NASA or something) and guess what? It's all broken! It's more broken than my non "virtually unbreakable" Tupperware, which cost less anyway. I think it's even more broken than any of my 20-year-old Pfaltzgraff stoneware. How sad is that?



Call me crazy! Help? I've created a monster tradition at my house and I don't know how to get out of it. Ever since I was first married I always cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner--complete with all the trimmings at my house again on Sunday. It started because I am picky about my stuffing (Just Say No to Stove Top) and I missed the leftovers. But now it's out of control. That's a lot of chopping and stirring and pie baking for these ever-aging hands to be doing all by themselves. Think about it, the first Thanksgiving was potluck and that's how they were all meant to be, don't you think? You might think I could just stop, but now after all these years there are certain expectations (some of them still mine) that this is the way it's got to be? What's a girl to do?



And best if not last, HAPPY *upcoming* BIRTHDAY to me! If this won't be just the BEST birthday present EVER...

(Frankly that last one leaves me speechless, but I can't wait to read what you have to say about it!)

p.s. Does any one else "not love" the new name of the Delta Center as much I do? Let's all Just Say No to "Energy--I've got more money than Delta/I used to be Envirocare--Solutions" too!

16 comments:

Rhonda Sloan said...

Happy Birthday!

Totally agree with you on the OJ, TomKat and Playstation rants. (I didn't even believe my girlfriend when she mentioned the OJ book.)

As far as Thanksgiving goes, you could do what I do and make the man cook. But then again, I am stuck with all the dishes at the end and that's an even bigger (and completely thankless) job.

QueenScarlett said...

...Happy Orgasmic-Birthday to you. ;-) I guess those folks in that article need an excuse to... well heheheh

You crack me up.

And... I think computer gaming is WORSE than being a sports widow... I hate that my husband is married to dorky warcraft.

Geo said...

I couldn't make it through that article. I felt sick reading what I did.

As for the Thanksgiving sequel, I say displace it. Ask your family what sorts of new traditions they'd like to throw into the mix. Maybe you can find some outing or project or other activity that's not feast-related that you can all get behind. I am amazed that you've been doing two turkey extravaganzas every year. You put me to shame.

Let me call you Martha, I'm in loooove wiiiiiith yooooouuu . . . !

It was nice of you to give us a heads-up about your be-day. I always think that Solstice babies have an extra somethin' special.

dalene said...

Oops! Sorry Geo--my bad. I obviously didn't read through all of it either--I was going for the concept, which falls in the category of "Who Thinks Up This Stuff?" I swapped it out for something a little less graphic and with a few less bad puns. Forgive me?

Elizabeth-W said...

I'm with you on the potluck idea! My daughter informed me yesterday that the main dish for the pilgrims was deer meat, not turkey, and wondered if we'd be having deer.
I should have told her not only would we not being having deer, but we'd also not be having rickets, scurvy, de-lousing, and frostbite.
Are you a cornbread stuffing/dressing kind of gal? That's my favorite! Stove Top is so nasty I can't even think of a good enough insult for it.
My firstborn was conceived on Dec 24. Could we move the celebration back a couple days in her honor?

JandB said...

there won't be any global celebration for me...should i tell them to move back the date?

i thought it was funny that you mentioned stove top because when i read it i thought, "theres stove top stuffing?" i've been very lucky my whole life cause my mom always does the homemade stuffing! but, my favorite part of thanksgiving would definately have to be the yummy turkey and the homemade gravy.

Energysolutions arena? thats lamesauce! i don't care how great a company it is, whats with the name?

luckyzmom said...

I was just wondering why you don't just make the stuffing on Sunday say with Cornish hens or chicken or such?
Or do you use the stuff inside the turkey to make broth for the dressing? and tear the meat off the neck and put it in your dressing and make giblet gravy like I do?
One yr I just made the dressing with a turkey breast.
One yr we had pizza.It was the best!

Lyle said...

Addicted to the limelight, no matter the source or reason.
If only the next headline for OJ was an obituary.

Playstation, xbox, Wii, etc...I coulda been a part of that crowd. There must have been some sort of divine intervention. As a kid, I spent hours and way too much money on the old fashion arcade games and original nintendo. I was an addict. Perhaps if I was still single things would be different.

Pot luck is the only way to go with a formal dinner. My mom used to go it alone. It was underappreciated. poor mama. I'm in charge of the pies and my wife is in charge of the rolls this year.

I could go on, but then this wouold be more of a post and not a comment.

sue-donym said...

But he looked HOT in the Guardian.

Is your birthday really on Dec 22? I hope I don't forget about it in all my excitment. Maybe I will think about it prematurely. te he

Money talks, Delta walks
Weird name. I will be boycotting it and still call it Delta Center (at least until the company ripps my frequent flyer miles from me?

Sister Pottymouth said...

I'm finding it amusing that one of the people in charge of this "earth moving" event is 76. Is this woman even getting any action any more? After you get to a certain age, I hear it's like playing pool with a rope. Then again, there's always Viagra.

It will always be the Delta Center to me.

Bek said...

OJ...blech. I am suprised it got that far in the first place.

TomKat..... the last time we saw a kiss that was so over the top at a wedding (I hear it was 3 minutes long) was the Minnilli / Guest wedding. We all know what that meanas. Someone has something to prove. I think this just proves my long held theory that Tom Cruise is NOT what he seems. Also, the fact that in the pictures Katie was the same size as him when we all know she is about 4 inches taller in real life. Crouching in the wedding photos isn't a good start.

Tupperware...I don't use it. Want to know my secret? I go to a place like Smart and Final and buy the deli containers (25 for 4$ in any of the sizes) and lids (5$ for 50) and use those. The lids are the same size for all the containers and they can be used in the dishwasher and microwave many times. When they get "old" I just throw them away. Also, you can give leftovers or send them to school and not be too sad when they don't come back. :-)

LuckyRedHen said...

We're invited to a friends for Turkey Day and won't have leftovers :( But we can make a turkey dinner ANYDAY. As for stuffing... I'm all for making it all from scratch like luckyzmom does ('cause she's my actual mother). It's the BEST stuffing recipe, hands down.

dalene said...

Well a big fat DUH! on me. I keep going to Luckyzmom's profile to figure out who she is. Of course she's your mom! Hi Luckyzmom--I love your daughter and I love that you read my blog!

Since stuffing seemed to be on everyone's minds I think we need to post recipes. Mine is just the very simple Harvest Giblet Stuffing (sans the giblets, EWWWW!) recipe in the red plaid Goddess of all Cookbooks--Better Homes and Gardens. I have played around with it for years--water chestnuts, mushrooms, etc. But the bottom line is I really like all the butter and onions and the simple flavor of sage. Oh and I always cook it in the crockpot. I did try cornbread stuffing once, but it was from someone who wasn't the best of cooks. I need to try a good batch sometime.

I did do the plain turkey breast one year. I don't know why I keep forgetting how much more simple that is. And truth be told, it's not really the turkey that's all the work, it's more the pies (I have to make everyone's favorites) and all the peeling and cutting of potatoes and sweet potatoes. I also like to do the whole bird so I can boil the carcass and make a good stock after it's all said and done, too.

The bottom line is that in spite of how much work it is, it is worth it. I especially like having a moment where I think really hard about who I'm supposed to invite for the big dinner that year. Last year it was my 97-year-old-the-doctor-gave-him-six-months-to-live-two-years-ago grandpa. I hadn't realized that when you get old you lose your sense of taste and it was the best compliment in the whole world when he said food hadn't tasted that good to him in AGES!

Do add your favorite stuffing recipes to the comments section here if you're so inclined, I would love to try something new sometime.

Happy Thanksgiving!

b. said...

I loved this post and laughed out loud.....I've been thinking the same things lately! I love when you read my mind!
So, I hope you do get the big "o" for your birthday. Was that inappropriate? Hhmmm....oh,well you brought it up. My birthday is just a couple of weeks later.....I'm hoping for the same thing. I would rather it not be a global thing though.......are you ever going to let me comment again??
I also do the Thanksgiving feast the following Sunday, but only if I didn't host the actual Thanksgiving Day feast.

Carina said...

I don't have my own stuffing recipe, my dad makes the famous stuff around here. Today I asked him what was in it: "You know, saute the veggies in butter, add the bread, and then the broth." Mmmmhmm, SURE that's all there is to it. I like stuffing when the top is crunchy from the oven.

Queen Scarlet--You too?! We should commiserate sometime.

Dec 22nd? That's my sister's birthday and Guille is the day after.

I've heard that people are calling it "The Fallout Shelter."

Ms. Julie said...

CW, you know you can turn in those broken Tupperware items for free new ones? I used to be a Tupperware consultant. A manager, even. I'm a Tupperware fanatic. It's true. I even collect interesting vintage pieces. *rolling eyes* I know I'm odd.