Time passages

Eighteen years ago today, after 29 hours of labor and 2 1/2 hours of hard pushing, I watched as my OB’s office nurse–who had come on her own time to be with us during labor and delivery–climbed on top of the bed, got on top of my belly and literally pushed a reluctant first child down and out into the world. We named him Luke.

There is something to be said for an oldest child, who basically is born to parents who don’t know any better, but who must sort through sheer volumes of unsolicited advice and most likely a parenting book or two in order to essentially learn how to parent as they go. And so it was with Luke. He somehow survived his colic and my post-partum depression to grow up and be a normal, happy and curious child.

Some of my favorite memories of Luke are playing in the laundry, telling bedtime stories (not read, but made up–he loved them) and watching him chase butterflies during his first couple of seasons of youth soccer. He grew up to become quite good at soccer actually, till other interests distracted him.

One night after a family dinner we returned home to our tiny basement apartment in Edgemont and Luke disappeared. When we found him we were amused to discover he had unwrapped half of a ginormous watermelon and was holding it in his toddler arms and burying his face in it in order to eat the sweet flesh right from the middle.

As boys (and some girls) are wont to do, Luke developed an interest in bugs. He then became facsinated with butterflies. Monarchs were his favorite. Soon any horizontal spaces in our tiny home were lined with canning jars filled with milkweek leaf and various stages of larvae, pupae and newly emerged adults. Somehow we connected Luke with a group out of San Diego calledThe Monarch Program and they began corresponding with Luke and published a couple of his articles about Monarchs in their newsletter. He was in second grade. That Christmas we surprised the family by packing them up in the car the day after and driving to San Diego, where we learned how to tag butterflies and we were able to spend a morning counting Monarchs in a grove of Eucaplytus. We also watched as our two boys and baby girl dipped their feet in the ocean for the very first time. The grin on Luke’s face was as immeasurable as the ocean.

Later that year we were invited to be involved in a joint project with a couple of members of The Monarch Program in which they sent us a significant number of tagged Monarchs to release in Provo, to be tracked and monitored in their migration. Several classes of elementary school students as well as television and newspaper reporters gathered at our humble home for the event. It was quite spectacular; but the coolest thing was watching the big grin on Luke’s face as we released the butterflies and noticing how he held his own, simulatneously fielding questions from the media and watching out for the butterflies.

Luke’s interest in science has now led him into a love of the stars. Last Christmas he got a great telescope and it’s been fun to see him learn about the heavens and stargaze late into the night. The stars have a deeply spiritual relevance for Luke. They are one of the reasons he wants to pursue studies in science and astronomy after high school.

Right now Luke’s main focus is on preparing to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Sometime over the last year or so Luke has turned his life over to God in a way that has been both humbling and inspiring to witness. In a way that superceded anything I could have mandated or forced upon him, Luke chose that path for himself. The transformation that occurred gives proof that truth and light are real elements at work in the physical world and they have power over flesh and blood. I was witness to such wonder as a missionary and have seen it only a few times since. I cannot express how it feels inside your mother heart when you see such a miracle happen in your own child.

Another of Luke’s gifts is his voice. Luke has been involved in school choirs since elementary school. He almost dropped out of choir and chose a different path sometime around junior high, but what a blessing he didn’t. Since coming to Provo High he has had the opportunity to work with an outstanding choir director and sing with some simply wonderful choirs. And that has made all the difference. At a time when many kids struggle to find themselves and sometimes find themselves hanging out with the wrong crowd, Luke has been able to associate with a group of great kids who are bent on doing good things. And the music has opened his heart and is opening his mind in a way that we both know will have a lasting impact on his life. What more could a mother want?

Luke has one more year at Provo High before he will leave the nest and embark on a two-year LDS mission. As you all know this is something that both thrills me and makes me just a little bit sad. But having seen what happens to Monarchs when, for some unexplicable reason they make it to their chrysalis stage and then simply stop progressing, I know this is meant to be.

I guess one of the best things I have learned as a first-time parent is that sometimes your most important job is to get out of the way and just observe as your kid breaks out his own wings, hangs still just long enough for them to dry them out, and then lifts them in order to fly away.

Happy Birthday Luke! Fly, baby, fly.