Overheard: put another dime in the jukebox baby

f you’d been a fly on the wall (well, technically somewhere over the VoIP) this is what you would’ve overheard the other day while I was at work:

Ring.

Me: Hello. Burgundy London; this is Dalene, may I help you?

Caller X: Hello, I’m calling from Lackawanna. I just want to let you know blah blah blah blah blah.

Me (thinking I’m ending the call): Sure. I’ll be happy to take care of that for you. Thank you for calling.

Caller X: Dalene. That’s an unusual name.

Me (still thinking I’m ending the call): Yes it is. My parents made it up. Thanks for…(read: end of story.)

Caller X: Irish. “Lene” is Irish. You’re not Irish are you?

Me (still trying to end the call and figuring there is no point in explaining it’s not Irish; it’s Intermountain West. All the other offices of my company already think we’re weird here because we are sober.): Nope. I was firstborn; my dad’s name was Dale. Dalene is simply Dale with an “n-e” tacked on. Dalene. (He did not get the long explanation, which has something to do with my not being a firstborn son, but Dad making the best of it anyway.)

Caller X: That’s a good name. You should be a rock star. Like Madonna.

Me (seeing the similarities-ha!): Oh yeah. I should be just like Madonna. Me and Madonna.

Caller X: Or Joan Jett. You know, if you really love rock and roll.

Me (amused now because previously his entire point was about being a one-name band. Joan Jett. Two words.?): Yeah, I like Joan Jett.

Caller X: Get it? You know the song, “I Love Rock and Roll.”

Me (with eyes rolling and hands up in the air for the benefit of my co-workers who have by now realized this is not your every day call to QA): Yeah. I get it. I Love Rock and Roll. I know the song. (I probably still remember all the words.)

Caller X: Joan Jett is with Carmen Electra, you know.

Me (not even feigning my disbelief): Really? I did not know that. Aren’t they like from two different generations? (read: I grew up with Joan, Carmen used to be a new kid on the block. She used to have a thing for Candies shoes, but that was ages ago. Is Carmen even gay? Who knew?)

Caller X: Yeah. They’re together. But they’re not from different generations.

Me: Yeah, well, I guess I’ll have to Google that. I really had no idea. (read: how such pertinent information could have escaped my notice? I mean I work in the business of news, you know.)

Caller X (convincingly–as if he has personal knowledge of the fact): Yeah, it’s true.

Me (determined now more than ever to end the call): Yeah, well, um, thanks! You have a nice day now. Bye.