Something to ponder in the nature vs. nurture debate.
Another reason NOT to beat ourselves up too much over our kids...what they do, what they say, how they behave.
And even further evidence why we should just cut ourselves a little slack when our kids don't turn out exactly as we envisioned.
Two kids. Born from the exact same gene pool. Raised in much the same way by the exact same parents.
Yet two obviously different personalities.
And that's OK.
I admire specific qualities respective to each of them.
I love them both beyond compare.
So parents, let's give ourselves a break. Love our kids the way they come. Pray they'll turn out to be decent human beings--eventually they will--but don't worry if they don't fit the mold. There is no mold. (Well, there might be some hiding somewhere in what lies behind door #2.) Nor should there be.
11 comments:
Amen. I've been realizing this lately, too, with Jack being at school all day. I appreciate all his individualities. A messy room is worth a good-hearted respectable boy; in the scheme of things.
Timely post for me. I got in a huge argument with my eldest last night over cleaning his closet. (sigh) We were both in tears at the end of the night.
I knew when pregnant with #2 she was either a boy or a realllllly active girl, and it has come to fruition--just a much more active child. That being said, I do think that even though she is from the same gene pool, same parents, same basic parenting style, we do let her get by with more. I know I'm less structured with her, etc. I think all that stuff about birth order has some validity--that children have to create identity for themselves, so if one child is orderly and neat, it is an easy thing to identify as opposite and then the other might have a laissez-faire (sp?) approach to housekeeping. I'll post a story for you, compulsive, about what my parents did to my brother and his dirty room.
Love the picture! There's no better way to put it. We were just talking today about kids being so completely different from one another - what works for one isn't going to work for the next one - and you have to parent by the skin of your teeth sometimes. Which is totally fine.
Thank you. I needed this post. It's good to be reminded of this as I struggle with the odd quirks of my oldest.
Love this post. My kiddos are definitely different, and the attitude/personality of my youngest is just starting to emerge. . .
Great post, cw. I know that I'm aware of this phenomenon in my own family, I just struggle sometimes with dealing with the one that's just like her mother. Go figure. When no four walls will ever contain them, it's a wonderful thing...and very tricky to deal with.
This is a truly classic post. The photo is a hilarious study in contrasts. Great perspective!
Try housing Felix AND Oscar in the same bedroom. That's our current living situation with our older girls, and everyday the barrage of, "Mooooom, she's such a PIG!" starts early in the morning.
I hear you. Oscar and Felix have been in the same bedroom for 15+ years. This separate bedroom thing is new, but I get grief daily from Felix about still having to share a bathroom with Oscar. Makes me wonder how those pioneers stuck 12+ kids in the same bedroom, and managed to live relatively peacably in houses much the size of today's family rooms.
haha! My two oldest girls are exactly this way. My oldest is...a slob. I hate to say it. My second is neat as a pin. When they shared a room together it looked SO odd.
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