Knock. Knock.
Standing at the door is my neighbor, her 10-year-old daughter, and my other friend's 10-year-old daughter.
Pregnant pause (of the early second trimester variety).
My neighbor: "Um. We just thought you might want to know that L~ hurt herself shaving and she'd hiding from you. But she's hurt and we thought you should know." (Read: You must be a real Mommie Dearest that your daughter is hurt but she feels she must hide from you while she bleeds to death.)
Me: "Uh. Thanks."
Pregnant pause (this time of the 42-week variety).
Me again as it starts to sink in: "Um. Shaving? Did you say L~ was shaving?"
My neighbor: "Well, yes. Apparently she's been shaving for some time now."
Me: "OK. Thanks. I'll go see if I can find her." (Read: Thanks for being the one to break it to me that my barely 11-year-old daughter has been shaving her legs behind my back. Are you also going to knock on my door someday and tell me she's been making out with the boy next door?)
So I hunt L~ down, in a very un-Joan Crawford kind of way. There is blood everywhere. I can't find L~, but I did remove a big chunk of flesh in my razor. Suddenly my mental movie references turn to the likes of "Jaws."
Finally I find her. She has more bandaging on her that I did after my ACL surgery. As she removes the bandage I can see why. Her entire shin bone is practically exposed.
OK, I exaggerate. But you know how bad a tiny nick bleeds? Do you remember how BADLY a tiny nick HURTS?
She has stripped off at least a 1/2-inch-wide strip about 4 inches down the middle of her shin.
I kid you not.
I tell her I need to clean it up. (Who knows how long that razor has been sitting in the shower?)
She says, "I already did. I put antiseptic on it."
I wonder about where she would've found antiseptic, but put some Neosporin (the pain relief kind) and bandage her up again. I wonder if she might need some Percocet.
"She must be very brave," I think to myself. (Still very much in my most un-Joan Crawford-like manner.)
~I am a good mom.~
"She will have a scar there for the rest of her life," I realize.
Later that day I go into her bathroom and realize what she'd used for disinfectant.
Skin Prep. (Note the parts that say, "Skin-Prep should only be used on intact skin," and "Do not apply directly to open wounds.") Have you ever used Skin Prep? It burns a little sometimes.
"She is very brave," I say again to myself."
I look ahead and wonder what the next 10 years will bring. What else will she feel the need to try behind my back? Will my neighbors or their daughters always come and reveal to me her secrets? Will she always feel the need to be so stoic?
"I'm going to have to be very brave," I tell myself.
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19 comments:
You dealt with that very well. Not the child part - we mothers know when to freak and when to simply help out.
I think you were a saint with the neighbors. So much was running through my head as I read the story.
In a way, I can't wait until you have to go repay the favor....and it will be much more important.
Thanks for the shivers and the memories that came flooding back of the time I chopped my ankle off while shaving only to use the excuse that I dropped a knife down my leg (it was THAT bad).
When my mom forbid me to shave my legs until I was 12 or 13 (can't remember but at the time it was the only thing I could think about), I did something silly. Dad went to use his electric shaver to find it jammed with tiny blonde hairs (I was the only blonde in the family). He let mom deal with me. So in a VERY Joan Crawford way, she did the whole song-and-dance about disobeying, rules and punishments while I sat there stone-cold faced:
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
I didn't shave my legs.
"You did too! There's PROOF in your dad's shaver."
No there isn't.
[fuming] "DON'T YOU LIE TO ME!"
I didn't shave my legs (still stone-cold faced).
[dang pissed and in that stuttery way] "Then.how.did.these.little.blonde.hairs.get.in.dads.shaver?!"
I shaved my arms. You didn't say I couldn't shave my arms. Neener neener.
oh man! that sounds so painful, especially the thought of her putting that antiseptic on it. hopefully she doesn't do anything extremely stupid behind your back. i remember buying some thongs behind my moms back, but she found out soon because i never did my own laundry. i'm a smart one.
My sister did that while shaving. From her ankle to her knee. I remember asking her, "Didn't you know after, like, a centimeter, that you were taking skin off?"
Apparently not.
She has a matching scar on her other leg.
After I read the post I ran to the bathroom and counted at least 15-20 scars on each leg from this very same experience in my early shaving years. That isn't including the ones behind my knees, near my ankles, etc. I've since learned that you get what you pay for in the shaver department.
Do you remember Methiolade? It was this nasty bright pink antiseptic that burned like the devil? I think I read once that they added something stingy to it so people "felt" it was working.
I haven't cringed this much while reading since reviewing my last electric bill.
My just turned 11 year old daughter is begging me to allow her to shave her legs too. I just may read this cautionary tale back to her and pause at the blood and flesh parts for added emphasis. It's sucky to hear someone else begin a sentence, "I just thought that you should know.....". No good can come of it. You handled the situation much more admirably than I would have. Maybe you can be my personal mentor on dealing with the horrors of pre-teen girls.
Wow... ok - I was cringing through this whole story. I'm so glad to read these posts you have - you're teaching me what I need to do/expect when I reach it. Thank you!
Bravo for handling it so well.
OUCHY-Mama!
I was cringing too.
I now have one more worry about my daughter who just turned 10.
I just hope that I'm not the one who finds her bleeding from shaving. If I didn't kill her, I'd probably pass out...I'm kind of a sissy in that regards.
As long as you didn't catch her peeing in the sewer vent on the roof....;-)
I have a lovely scar behind my left knee from my first shaving attempt. Good times, good times.
I LOVE the phrase "I just thought you should know. . . "
I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my fourth when I was told, by my second's preschool teacher. . . "I just thought you should know that in all my 17 years of teaching preschool (oh, here we go!), I've only ever had 2 children escape from the school and wander out. . ." I just stood there and stared at her. She stared back. I said, "Well, sounds about right." and that was that.
Thanks for letting me know what I have to look forward to!
I never had this horrible experience--my mom told me about hers and showed me her scars. I decided learning from someone else's physical injury would work that time. Maybe I'll have her talk to her 8-year-old granddaughter now. And really, the 5-year-old is the one who I need to worry about. Maybe if I start now...
Like I told you before, I hope you are getting all this daughter-raising stuff figured out because I'm coming over in 5 years and you'd better have good advice.
Poor L. I'll hold a good thought for her and her wounds. And you ARE both very brave.
Skin prep..."it burns a little sometimes"- While everyone else was horrified by the flesh-eating razor, the nurse in me cried out at this point. This is only one of your beautifully understated phrases.
It matches your beautifully understated and compassionate response to your 11-year-old daughter -- who, by the way, is definately old enough to shave, but who unfortunately didn't get to attend "shaver's ed." before her first trip up shin lane.
I'll save my feminist commentary on how all of this pain and trauma could be avoided if women and men . .. oh, yeah, I'm saving it.
In the meantime, you know where my sofa is and you're always welcome. Parenthood: it burns a little sometimes.
And as for becks and the thong underwear thing: both my darling (comparatively tame) daughters have tried that on me. So, that's one you can pretty much count on down the road.
It's pretty easy to fix though. I have a well-prepared speech that I will share with you when you need it.
There's always hellfire and damnation too. I use that one for the marijuana talk.
Love that Lorien thinks she's got another five years...
*shiver*
I still remember Amy Gallen in 7th grade with a bandage from ankle to knee, ala Beans. I thought she was an idiot, wouldn't you realize, like, REALLY QUICKLY that it was too deep?
I'm getting dry heaves, almost.
But never mind that, I think you laid some mighty fine groundwork for the next 10 years of experiments. It's dealing kindly with the little stuff like this that makes you approachable on the big stuff later. At least that's my take as a non-parent.
I think you're brave right now.
Wow.....
I have just had a few of these kinds of experiences...but I pray every day I can be a good mom and not Joan Crawford.......
I never did the leg shaving thing....but I rememeber a friend of mine talking about wanting to do it IN KINDERGARTEN. She had older sisters, I did not.
Oh, what a story! Thanks for linking to it from my blog!
Of course I read this when you first posted, and it is still a good story today...although maybe even better that I've met your adorable daughter.
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