One of the desires of my heart is to write a book. I want to share what extraordinary beauty I see in the everyday lives of the most amazing of women. They may live next door. Around the corner. Across town. Or through the back fence. You might pass by them in the grocery store and you may or may not even notice them. But to me they are remarkable.
The book will likely never happen. But random excerpts will be posted on my blog from time to time to pay tribute to some of these my sisters who make my world a better place.
M is for Courage
I first met her probably a decade ago. She had moved into a home she owned in the neighborhood and she invited us--including our four children to Sunday dinner. I have wonderful friends, but only a few are brave enough to request the invasion of my entire family. But M~ did so warmly. And on more than one occasion.
Certain moments of your life are so horrible they etch themselves into your memory for eternity. February 14. I am frantically baking and frosting dozens of heart cookies to get to various elementary school class parties for the day. I get a call from M~. "I think I have cancer," she says. I'm not proud of this, but I was in such denial that it could possibly be true and I had so many other people counting on me I told her I would call someone to come and give her a blessing and I would see her as soon as I could. I did follow through, but I still deeply regret not having run right over.
Lesson learned: Drop everything for a friend in need. Sometimes the worst does happen.
The diagnosis was an aggressive leukemia. Prognosticating doctors only gave her a 20% chance to live and she embarked on one of the most valiant battles against cancer I had yet seen. (I'm sad to say it hasn't been the last.) I remember one day seeing her, comatose, in the hospital. She looked like death. It broke my heart. But prayers on her behalf were answered.
Lesson learned: God does know your name.
She continued to wage courageous war against cancer. The picture she painted for me of one of her major radiation treatments--her standing naked and alone on the cold tile floor, weak to the point that only sheer will kept her wobbly body upright, as doctors directed the near-lethal doses of radiation that both saved her and doomed her--still haunts me. I know I would've just fallen to the floor, curled up and died.
M~ survived, but her fight cost her dearly. Her small motor skills damaged to the point she has trouble communicating and doing many things she once loved, she now has the emotional capabilities of a 15-year-old. And a heart of gold.
She hasn't really felt well since her treatments. Her disabilities have further complicated her already difficult family life. Her body and her heart broken, she never gives up.
When her life just gets to be too much for her she often goes to the temple for solace. "I'm just going to turn it over to God," she says. There have been days when she has shown up at my door in tears. I listen for awhile, then take her home and put her to bed. Hoping and praying the sun will come out in her world tomorrow.
Lesson learned: Just turn it over to God.
M~ is the queen of the dollar store. She remembers everyone in the neighborhood's birthdays. Even the kids'. Last year we threw a big surprise birthday party for her to try in some small way to show her our love and appreciation. I wish we could do more.
Lesson learned: When your life seems unbearable, thinking of someone else will help you get through one more day.
Because she has a difficult time talking, she often expresses herself through notes delivered by her husband or left at one's doorstep with a gift from Honks or a plate of brownies or cookies. (Her Mexican Wedding Cookies are the best.) Her notes both break your heart and make you smile at the very same time. Here is an excerpt from the latest:
Yesterday my doctor did a rectal & pelvic exam & a breast check. (Whew!) I asked her if she was really up to all that. I survived, (a little ragged around the edges) & today I took a fasting blood test & Mon. I have a mammogram & Aug. 1st I have a bone density test. Cut weeds in my back yard & right now, a nap sounds good.
Love, M~
M is for Courage
