I'm a good mom
Like many of you, I like to take the occasional guilt trip over my shortcomings as a mother. However, recent headlines have convinced me that my kids don't have it so bad. Here's why:
1. Although my children have been discovered in many places--wandering the aisles of Wal-Mart (I was inside the store as well at the time), walking naked down the street (never past the age of four), and, thrice, at various stages on their way to the school where my husband teaches--they have never been found outside wandering by the freeway in the middle of the night. In the middle of winter.
2. Unlike the mother who threw overnight parties so she could hit on her kids' high-school-aged friends--I try to keep a safe distance and make sure my kids' friends are home at a reasonable hour. Although I am not opposed to feeding them or cheering for them at sporting events. And I don't serve alcohol at my own parties, let alone my kids' parties. I don't even serve caffeinated beverages.
3. My youngest son used to routinely tell people who called on the phone that I was away shopping and had left him home alone, even though I was just outside or in the shower or somewhere where I couldn't hear the phone ring. But I have never gone to Las Vegas or Disney World or anywhere else fun for an extended period of time while leaving my kids home unattended. If one could accuse me of anything it would be that I just don't leave them often enough at all.
4. I have a hard enough time coughing up the $25 to $35 co-pay for a necessary visit to their pediatrician or the friendly neighborhood orthopedist. You won't catch me forking over thousands for the latest trend in plastic surgery for my daughter. Or, like some parent at my boys' school--coral implants to help a child grow horns so he can pretend he's a satyr. It's not like teenagers need more help feeling awkward or weird during their high school years.
5. I have no desire to be a contestant on reality TV in order to screech at someone else's kids and husband, jiggle my body fat in front of live cameras, eat rotted animal entrails or get in catfights with the girls over some prize or another. I limit the ways I embarrass my children to the following: Driving a mini-van, asking about their social lives, applying sunscreen thoroughly, and just being me. It's not like I need extra help being a geek.
5a. I would never, ever dress up exactly like my cursing, under-dressed, over-tanned, bleached-blonde airhead teenaged daughter to appear with her at American Idol auditions. Ever.
6. My kids aren't even allowed to shoot people virtually and I'm the queen of the "mean moms," so I don't think I'd find myself in the following situation: One mother of an elementary-school student just got charged with child endangerment because she allowed her son on numerous occasions to take his own loaded gun to the elementary school he attended (and where she was employed) and offered the excuse "It's his gun; he can do what he wants with it."
7. I won't even start with those heartbreaking stories of mothers who hear voices in their heads that tell them to hurt their children. I am very grateful that although my kids may drive me to distraction, that's about as crazy as it gets around my house.
8. I have never, ever--and never will--utter the words "I hope your kids give you a taste of your own medicine someday."
So, moms out there, lay the guilt down for a day and celebrate. Our kids will probably turn out OK. Eventually. And things most certainly could be a lot worse.
1. Although my children have been discovered in many places--wandering the aisles of Wal-Mart (I was inside the store as well at the time), walking naked down the street (never past the age of four), and, thrice, at various stages on their way to the school where my husband teaches--they have never been found outside wandering by the freeway in the middle of the night. In the middle of winter.
2. Unlike the mother who threw overnight parties so she could hit on her kids' high-school-aged friends--I try to keep a safe distance and make sure my kids' friends are home at a reasonable hour. Although I am not opposed to feeding them or cheering for them at sporting events. And I don't serve alcohol at my own parties, let alone my kids' parties. I don't even serve caffeinated beverages.
3. My youngest son used to routinely tell people who called on the phone that I was away shopping and had left him home alone, even though I was just outside or in the shower or somewhere where I couldn't hear the phone ring. But I have never gone to Las Vegas or Disney World or anywhere else fun for an extended period of time while leaving my kids home unattended. If one could accuse me of anything it would be that I just don't leave them often enough at all.
4. I have a hard enough time coughing up the $25 to $35 co-pay for a necessary visit to their pediatrician or the friendly neighborhood orthopedist. You won't catch me forking over thousands for the latest trend in plastic surgery for my daughter. Or, like some parent at my boys' school--coral implants to help a child grow horns so he can pretend he's a satyr. It's not like teenagers need more help feeling awkward or weird during their high school years.
5. I have no desire to be a contestant on reality TV in order to screech at someone else's kids and husband, jiggle my body fat in front of live cameras, eat rotted animal entrails or get in catfights with the girls over some prize or another. I limit the ways I embarrass my children to the following: Driving a mini-van, asking about their social lives, applying sunscreen thoroughly, and just being me. It's not like I need extra help being a geek.
5a. I would never, ever dress up exactly like my cursing, under-dressed, over-tanned, bleached-blonde airhead teenaged daughter to appear with her at American Idol auditions. Ever.
6. My kids aren't even allowed to shoot people virtually and I'm the queen of the "mean moms," so I don't think I'd find myself in the following situation: One mother of an elementary-school student just got charged with child endangerment because she allowed her son on numerous occasions to take his own loaded gun to the elementary school he attended (and where she was employed) and offered the excuse "It's his gun; he can do what he wants with it."
7. I won't even start with those heartbreaking stories of mothers who hear voices in their heads that tell them to hurt their children. I am very grateful that although my kids may drive me to distraction, that's about as crazy as it gets around my house.
8. I have never, ever--and never will--utter the words "I hope your kids give you a taste of your own medicine someday."
So, moms out there, lay the guilt down for a day and celebrate. Our kids will probably turn out OK. Eventually. And things most certainly could be a lot worse.
Comments
I can't tell you how many student papers I've graded that are a reflection of poor parenthood.
Another salute to good moms that don't give in to poor advice/trends.
But sometimes there are cookies here. And I try not to be cranky when friends are over. So tell your daughter she is always welcome here if there are troubles in the friend mix and you're tied up! I love her.
My brother was telling us yesterday about a man he met on his mission whose dad kicked him out of the house, saying he was old enough to be on his own and fend for himself. He was not quite 6 years old. (Now that's a story to add to your list!)
So here's to all us good moms who do the best we can to give our kids something to talk about when they're old. "Son, that's nothing. When I was little, your grandma used to...."
P.S. Thanks for the offer Lo. I will pass it along.
I think another crucial aspect of parenting--at whatever level of goodness or not it may be--is to keep a sense of humor. When it comes down to the choice whether to laugh or cry, I'll choose the laughing.
Actually I'm learning to appreciate my children's good qualities (and believe me-some days they're hard to find). I work with attorneys who represent kids that have been taken from their homes by DCFS or who have commited crimes and are in the Juvenile Court system. After the first day I felt very thankful for my children and the life we have.
On the flip side I now have ammunition when my kids whine about their "terrible" lives! I sit them down and tell them some of the things that other kids have to live with (and it's not the good stuff). My oldest only used the phrase "That's child abuse" once! The 30 minute lecture on "what child abuse really is" cured him of saying that again!
All in all I love my boys. I just don't understand them most of the time! And maybe someone could fill me in on why boys feel the need to make noises. Anytime...anywhere...for no reason at all. I just don't get it.