Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The storm or sunshine of every moment

This is how I have often described my favorite (and only) daughter since she was about three. It was then that I both embraced and steeled myself for the fact that this little girl was going to make my life interesting. And so she has.
Some of you may remember being introduced to the lovely L~ when I wrote about her cutting herself shaving. Or perhaps you may recall the curious incident of the Christmas hoodie. If you were to meet her on the street you would see a girl, tall for her age, clad in boys shortsand whatever shirt she could find. She might look away rather shyly; or she might flash you her beautiful smile and say “Hi!” (If I were to meet her on the street she’d probably roll her eyes to the heavens and heave a heavy sigh.)
Oh but there’s so much more. The truth is that while she is willful (and I still maintain, particularly for a female, there has got to be an upside to that quality), she is also a lot of fun. And today happens to be her birthday. (I can hear my friend Jan, who shares this birthday, telling me again and again, “She’s a gemini, I tell you. You just wait!”)
L~ is one of the most successful tomboys I have ever known. Which is saying something, because I was quite the tomboy myself. One of her favorite sports is football. She is the only girl who plays football with the boys at recess. Once one of her male friends forbid her to run at full speed when she played, stating that it wasn’t fair. The was the same boy who tried to convince her she shouldn’t do a project for the science fair, either. I’m proud to say that on both counts she did what she wanted. And that’s OK with me.
She is also an excellent athlete. She once was recruited for a competition-league soccer team based solely on her performance during her first city-league softball game. One of her best assets: she’s not afraid of the ball. (Hence her first soccer coach had her play goalie.) Once during her older brother’s city-league baseball game–she was about eight at the time–she caught a hard-hit fly ball with her bare hands. The crowd cheered. Her brother was impressed. And I’ll admit it; moments like those make me quite proud.
But she is also a good friend. L~ has this interesting ability to be friends with different groups of friends and, despite the difficulties, somehow making it work. One of my favorite memories is last winter when we took a group of 10 and 11-year-old girls down to the Utah Lake to pick up some trash for a service project. The lake was still frozen except for just around the edges. L~ thought it would be fun to go out on the dock. That did require a few steps through the ice before one got onto the dock. Everyone was game except one girl, but that didn’t stop L~. She simply picked up her petite friend and carried her through the wet and icy part and set her on the dock. So she wouldn’t be left out. (Click here to view photo.)
The school district here gives something called “The Great Kid Award” every year. L~ didn’t win, but she was nominated and seriously considered and it was for this: There is a boy in her class with whom she has been friends for a number of years. He has a troubled home and little encouragement with his studies or homework help. As a result, he has struggled through school since he started. According to L~’s teacher she has been a great help to this boy over the past year, challenging him in a way that only she could, and encouraging him to live up to his potential. And the teacher has noticed some remarkable results.
Knowing she has the capacity for these kinds of kindnesses is what helps me get through those moments when L~ pushes my buttons in that way only a pre-teen daughter can and uses her verbal skills to wrench the knife she occasionally stabs through my mother-heart just a little bit harder.
So a big Happy Birthday to my beautiful daughter, L~. I look forward to watching her grow into womanhood. The forecast calls for partly sunny skies scattered with some severe thunderstorms.


Don’t bother with an umbrella. It’s going to be a wild ride.

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