from the mixed-up files of a middle-aged mind

First I just need to know if there is anyone out there in the cyberworld who also avoids his or her financial deficiencies by pretending the bills never arrived. Or they can't be found. Or perhaps they were never sent in the first place. Eventually I do find them and pay them in time to avoid late fees and interest, but if there is anything about which I am the least bit cowardly it would be fiscal responsibility. Why must I wait till the last possible moment to pony up? It's not like there is any more money in the bank (always sufficient, but never enough) at the beginning of the next month than there was two weeks earlier when the bill started pouring in. And I do always--even when the credit card bill is completely overwhelming--find a way to pony up. For all of it. I just can't seem to do so in a timely manner. What's up with that? Isn't it cool that no matter what your shortcomings are as a parent or that this is the kid who says he doesn't like pancakes...

I. A couple of months ago I was driving home from somewhere with a mini-vanload of 15-to-16-year olds when my cell phone rang. Me: "Speak to me!" My seven-year-old, K~: "We found a dead bird. And it doesn't have any wounds on its body. And there's no blood. It's feathers are undisturbed. And it's wings aren't broken..." I'm thinking, "I should write a pilot for CSI Animal Planet." I interrupt: "DON'T TOUCH THE DEAD BIRD!" So at this point the teenagers in my car stop talking about life and love and the lastest song on the radio and start laughing. I want to say to them, "Just you wait. You future parents, you." I turn my attention back to the phone call, which is not going well. At the same time I'm ruling out West Nile Virus because it's too cold. Bird Flu because we're in the western hemisphere. At least it looks like we won't be going into quarantine... K~: "I'm not." M...

Have you met my friend Toni ? I think she found me via Luckyzmom. In any case, she tagged me for a meme and since it's regarding the subject of homemaking skills (we all know how seriously I take those homemaking skills), I thought I'd play. ABCs of Homemaking Meme Aprons- Y/N? Several. One my mother made me. One made by Melody. My latest favorite is the red hot chili pepper one Lynda gave me for my birthday. Baking- Ask Lorien about my sour cream lemon pie. Clothesline- Y/N? I've been known to do that to my kids now and then. Donuts- Only when there is a good layer of snow over at the church parking lot. Everyday- One homemaking thing you do everyday? Get out of bed. Freezer- Do you have a separate deep freezer? - You bet. My husband likes to stock it with deer and elk meat. I like to stock it with berries for pies. Garbage Disposal- Y/N? Yes. He's 15. He'll eat just about anything except for tomato chunks in spaghetti. Handbook- Y/N? For what? The girlfriend...

Greetings from Arizona! Where adventure begins . . . and never ends! Adventure I So much for the Bellagio! After a fabulous clinic at UNLV it became apparent that perhaps taking 60 teenagers to The Strip on a Friday night during the NBA All-Star weekend was not such a great idea. Of course some of us had come to that conclusion long before others, but eventually a consensus was reached and plans were changed to Plan B, which involved getting away from the melee as quickly as possible . Only somehow long after the switch to plan B, the driving directions for Plan A remained stuck in the driver of my vehicle’s head and we managed to spend 2 1/2 hours driving bumper to bumper from UNLV to the nearest freeway exit, which happened to be on the other side of The Strip anyway. We saw just about everything except for the fountains. And George and Brad and company. Lessons I Sometimes the harder you try to avoid something the faster it sucks you in. And never make weekend vacation plans for an...

At the unearthly hour of 4:20 a.m. I'm getting out of Dodge and heading out to see. . . . . . a big hole in the ground. But I might even get to see this on the way. I'd like to tell you I'm actually spending the night here. But I'd be lying. Instead I'll be riding herd over a bunch of high school band students at the likes of this. Fun stuff! Don't forget to to vote for your favorite Valentine's Day storyteller before midnight on Tuesday! Have a great weekend!

Let me first just say to all the entrants, you got game! Thanks so much for playing. I had a great time reading your submissions! The Fab-o-u-lous Entries: from la yen Challenge 1: Tyson and McKenna In Fair Mantua 'twas there a school For plucky tweens and such And there, in class, two lovers met: O'er dissections their palms did touch. But lo! The bell doth ringeth and in time They parted. Off to chemistry and math Separated they, sad partings, wo, Yet their digits still, they hath Saith he: QT, ILU WWYC. Wrote she. H2CUS. WKD? KOTC, ILU2 NOT OTC, BUT OTL MoS! She sent But 'twas too late; the phone was gone Not to be returned until well after Lent. Two star-crossed lovers, cried and moped, Without texting, they were naught 'Twas Friday night and how to meet? They had to chance being caught. So under humblest pretext of A library study date They left next morn to meet again And betwixt them plan their fate Twas unconscionably cruel, they two agreed To confi...

. . . to enter submit your entry for the first annual You be the Bard writing contest. E-mail your entry to henfeatherz AT gmail DOT com. All entries will be posted on Valentine's Day. Good luck!

Thanks to the brilliant idea of one of my favorite new bloggers, jennifer b. over at Going Barefoot , I am sponsoring my first ever writing contest. Your job, should you choose to accept it (and please in the revered name of St. Valentine and all that is romantic , do play), is to write the rest of the story . E-mail me (henfeatherzATgmailDOTcom) your best prose regarding how these young lovers ended up here , eternally entwined: That's only Challenge I . To complete Challenge II , simply come up with a better parting shot than that uttered by Romeo, " Thus with a kiss I die. " So dip your pens in their inkwells ladies and gents. Let's Play! ( All entries are due by midnight, February 13, and will be posted on Valentine's Day. Then we'll vote on a favorite. The winner will receive a $20 gift card to The Olive Garden . Thanks for playing! )

"Thus with a kiss I die." -- Romeo to the only merely nearly dead Juliet, act V. scene iii (If you check the link, be sure to note the location in which these millenia-old lovers' remains were located.)

So this is not nearly as effective as it was last week, when our high temperatures were lower than this week's lows. But since this week I'm battling a wretched head cold, it still works for me. I . . . feel . . . cold . . . After barely enduring the bleakest and most gloopiest January EVER, I've decided my problem (aside from the worst inversion and cold spell in recent memory) lies with me. I obviously didn't get the year off to the right start. So I'm declaring February "Be Good to You" month. I will dedicate each day as an opportunity to do at least one thing that is good to me. (Notice I did not say "good for me" but "good to me" as I didn't want to rule out things such as a whipped cocoa bath or other luxuries about which I've heard tell, but which may not actually be good for me). Some days I will post my plan for the day on my side bar. On other days I'll mention what I did that day (it depends on how organized ...

There was hardly time for debate about this or this before Texas jumped on board. It could be coming soon to a state near you. What do you think? For more info visit the CDC's FAQ page .

What love is . . . and is not.