from the mixed-up files of a middle-aged mind

...you're having trouble remembering just who it was who wrote Frankenstein and your 15-year-old son pops out, "Mary Shelley." (Now that is something the English major in you can really be proud of.) ...you take second place in the Provo High Marching Band Chili Cook-Off with something you threw together spur of the moment. ...your youngest comes to you and tells you, "Mommy, L~ has fat cats in her room." You're picturing something on the order of Garfield and wondering how something like that got into your house when what you discover instead is this: (gee, why didn't I ever think of installing bowling alleys in my bedroom?) ...you read in the ward newsletter that one of your favorite people-- becks --just got engaged. CONGRATS becks! ...your 15-year-old son who constantly tells you he'd like to go live with another family says this after spending two weeks with said family (who, by the way, spontaneously took him to DISNEYLAND [where of course h...

Now this is something I could get into... And now I want you all to tell me this: If you played roller derby, what would be your derby name?

jet lag sucks. that's all i want to say. (but it was worth going halfway across the world--and having to take 24 hours to come back--in order to be missed and appreciated by my kids.) more later...

vaasa, finland, i don't even know what day it is anymore-- last night we arrived in vaasa after a very, very long drive. everything takes about four times longer than it should because the side trips always occur spontaneously and after much consultation with the busdriver, the wwII buff, and our guide, mingled with "turn around as quickly as possible" warnings from the female voice of the gps. so it was well after 9:30 and we discover one, as with the hotel last night, the hotel is located in the middle of a the walkable town center, with no access by automobile and two, our visit apparently coincides with an annual event much anticipated by the young people of vaasa, the loose translation being "party in vasaa night." itäs a rigorous competition in which one must visit at least ten of the local bars with a punch card. if you buy a drink in every one you get a most fabulous t-shirt that boasts of your ability to drink in vasaa. at first i was afraid that the ho...

...so i could take a blurry picture of his behind. sorry--this will be in a rush. we have limited time on the internet, but i find i usually wake up between 4 and 5 and thatäs a good time to claim the hoteläs only computer. we are on the top of the world in lapland (hereäs a nod to the jolly porter, who served in this city called rovaniemi). itäs fall here and the most beautiful fall iäve ever seen. i finally figured out the color of finnish houses are all colors of the leaves, from the palest of green to dark red scattered with gold and even that odd mustard color thatäs starting to grow on me. ( well, except for maybe this one... ) today after i tell you about the reindeer that are everywhere and that i crossed the line into the arctic circle and that i spent an obscene amount of money at santaäs village yesterday i am going to turn a bit serious. the reindeer are indeed plentiful and very much protected. i thought i was going to be able to pet one yesterday in santaäs village--whic...

Did i mention i am fickle by nature? So after i posted that last post i got to thinking and i realized that i didnät come all this way to not sauna. i also realized my best chances to avoid a crowd were on Sunday morning. it was hot. it was heavenly. i was alone. so now i have a question for my dear cjane: if i take my towel off in the sauna but no one else is there am i really naked?

jounsuu finland, 5 something a.m., apparently sleeplessness isnät exlcusive to helsinki. i am excited because after so many trees and lakes what i started looking at yesterday are the people and i figured out that if you flip the view screen a certain way you can take pictures of people without them even knowing you are looking at them. i am in love with the children and want to bring them all home with me. but today itäs all about the sauna. iäm coming out. i know this will disappoint some of you, but iäm not entirely sure about the idea of the public sauna. night before last we were staying at a sports institute (founded ages ago by women and for women--the finns have a long history of strong and forward-thinking women. i love this finland!) in savonlinna. i love savonlinna! we walked down to the lake and were standing on the dock and as we turned to leave here comes this guy in nothing but his towel and a big grin on his face. we passed each other and i knew he was getting ready to ...

helsinki, finland, september 15, 4:00 a.m.-- observations: i may not be as afraid of flying as i think i am. Aside from a few moments during take off thinking, "This Bernoulli guy was just plain crazy"--mingled with fervent prayer--itäs not really too bad. snakes on a plane are not nearly as dreadful as... ...trying to sleep on a plane. i really, really like europe. not at all in the itäs-so-superior-to-the-u.s. kind of way. itäs just so cool! i forgot how great it is to be somewhere that has history, art, culture and tradition dated by millenia, not just mere centuries. i also love how international it is, too. that said, i'm also bemused by the fact that here i am entire continents away and the hotel bathroom is tocked with dove cream wash, creammy body wash and shamppo. nearly everyone iäve encoutered speaks great english and there is was what finn refers to as the american embassy--the golden arches--on every block (not really--but almost). love the abundance of trees...

We're almost ready to be on our way. I'm hoping to have Internet access to post updates on our trip. But as they keep downgrading our accommodations to "keep costs down" on our tour, that's looking less likely. We just learned that most of the hotels on our six-day tour of northern Finland don't even have double beds. Something about that tells me not to expect the Internet or even hope for a continental breakfast. That's OK, as long as I can find a clean shower and a hot sauna I'll be good to go. I'll try to keep you all posted .

I really wanted to write something pithy about an upcoming anniversary we'd all rather never happened. But due to my palpable fear of flying and the fact I'm taking a rather long flight in just a few short days, I'm working really hard to avoid thinking about it. Wish me luck with that ... So--in an all-out honest effort at distraction--here's my trivia question of the day: Would you rather be a genius or be beautiful? (I don't mean the we're-all-beautiful-people kind of beautiful--I mean the drop-dead gorgeous-stoppin'-traffic kind of beautiful.) Lorien can't play because she's both already all right. Not that they have to be mutually exclusive. Well, only sometimes . But, you know, if you could pick between one or the other which would you choose? And why?

You may be somewhat familiar with my now 11-year-old daughter, who has been going on 15 ever since she was five. Her favorite response to me--no matter what I ask of her--is this: "One sec." You may imagine this grows tiresome as seconds roll into minutes and minutes roll into...well, you know. Which is what prompted the following exchange that took place recently in a somewhat public place: Me: "L~ come here NOW, please." ~L: "One sec!" Me: loudly and emphatically "NO MORE SECS!" You coulda heard a pin drop.